Super Bowl + Marriage = Turd of an Idea

Via Ben Maller, I see that some douchebag is gonna propose to his girlfriend in an ad during the Super Bowl. He started a website to raise money or something and now it looks like it’s gonna happen. He was on Good Morning America (disguised I presume) and has been doing radio interviews. I tried reading the website, but then my testicles shriveled up and I realized I was becoming a woman as I was reading it, so I had to stop at the part where the words started. I scrolled down and clipped a random piece from the webpage before I closed the browser and acted on the impulse to watch the Ghost Whisperer for it's plot instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt's sweet mystery-solving rack:

I’m actually working on the script every morning in the shower - some guys sing to themselves, others howl like Chewbacca (I used to have a roommate who tried to perfect that one) and I’m in there, trying to think of what to say during my 10 seconds on TV to propose to the woman I love.

Ummm how about, “You’ve probably noticed how secretive and distant I’ve been and maybe even thought I was cheating on you. But I want you to know that…. Good Morning America has the hottest interns I have ever seen. Seriously. I saw one chick’s thong and almost cried. And if you agree to marry me right now we can go back there and I’ll show you. I think her name was Kaylen or Kyla or Karyn or something. It was definitely stripper-sounding.”