Thursday, January 11, 2007

Shopping Cart Racing is Legit-ish

As a (new) member of Team COBRA, I'm proud to see that CBS and CSI:NY came to see the error of their ways and not use the Idiotarod and its participants as nefarious individuals capable of nefarious acts. This is a sport that demands ruthlessness, sabotage, and endurance. It's a lot like curling, but without all that fruity curling.

Outside of CBS, a protest was held, and a statement was read (via twang of the void)

The time for silence has ended. For too long now corporate America has been assimilating our culture, twisting it, exploiting it, ignoring Truth in the favor of titillation. What I speak of is, of course, the noble art of shopping cart racing. And when I say corporate America, I am speaking of CSI:NY (or “CSI: New York,” as most people refer to it).

Tonight's episode of CSI:NY, entitled “Obsession,” is described in CBS's own words as follows:

“A man found dead in the snow with a price tag hanging from inside his stomach leads the CSIs to the annual Idiotarod race where young New Yorkers in creative costumes race decorated shopping carts from Brooklyn to Manhattan as if they were dog sleds.”

Notice the use of the name “Idiotarod.” We, members of the Carts of Brooklyn Racing Association (commonly referred to as COBRA), are the organizers of the 2007 Idiotarod. Let us first deal with the inaccuracies of that description of the event. One, not all racers are “young.” Racers come in all ages. The Idiotarod appeals to the human soul and we all agree that the human soul has no age. Two, more than just New Yorkers come to race. From across the country, or at least the tri-state area, racers come to New York (and spend money here, I will remind you) to experience the Experience. Three, there is no snow. COBRA believes there will never be snow again. And we would like to thank Al Gore for inventing global warming.

But more importantly, COBRA and shopping cart racers the world over, are distraught by the use of the name Idiotarod. COBRA was contacted by the producers of CSI:NY in November. They asked if they could use the name. We expressed a full willingness to work with them on a story. A story that would convey the excitement of the Idiotarod. That would convey the drama, the thrill, the pageantry, the magic that makes the Idiotarod such a special event. But we could not agree to the story presented to us, a story of stealing carts from the homeless... and of murder most foul. But the producers declined, stating that they had to start shooting in a week and there was no time to work with us. They stated they would not use the name.

And we see that they have used it. The irony in the title “Obsession” is not lost on us. This is just yet another example of the pattern of the media giants using the culture of shopping cart racing for their own nefarious gain. For too long we have sat back and watched them portray us as thieves and murders. We have been exploited for too long. We will no longer stand by silently while they continue this derogatory and negative agenda against us. Shopping cart racers are tired of hiding in the shadows. We are tired of being stereotyped. If our children continue to be bombarded by this, I dare say, hate, how can we expect them to grow up, to hold their heads high, and to say to their friends Bobby Joe Filbert and Sally Jane Kemper, “My parents are shopping cart racers, and I want to be one too”? Really, I ask you. What about the children?

I would like to make it clear this is not an attack on CBS. They have many fine programs. Personally, I always enjoyed Murder, She Wrote. I am a also a big fan of The Ghost Whisper. Jennifer Love Hewitt is dreamy.
Thank you.

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