Superbowl Diary

1st Quarter

• Phil Simms says it over and over - Peyton Maneen. He deserves a good teabaggeen if you know what I mean.
• Awesome intro graphics: everyone's folding their arms and saying their names. Except Marvin Harrison. I have no idea why.
• First quarter and we already see Rex "Fuck it, I'm Going Deep" Grossman. Gotta love that.
• 3:05: "The rain is ABSOLUTELY haveen a little effect" Way to take a stand, phil.
• 3:00: Benson fumbles. Puppy Bowl is less sloppy at this point. And they are actually shitting on the field.
  

2nd Quarter

• Coke commercial. Does the dead hooker pile come back to life? This remains unanswered.
• 11:22: #4 misses. I think its his moobs.
• I will never touch a dorito or register 6 ever again.
• Manning scrambles!
• Apparently I'm drunk or the camera is blurry. (I'm going with drunk based on my hallucination of maneen scrambleen).
• Colts get the TD. Manning asks the sideline: go for one? Two? One? Two? Let's be a little more judicious with the slow mo from now on, ok?
• Commercial: a robot dreams of dying! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
• 4:00: Nice shot of an emotionless Benson sitting on a bench in the rain - cold, hooded and alone. It's like seeing into the future. What you can't see yet is the sign asking for money and me throwing a milkshake on him.

Halftime:

Shannon Sharpe: "SHIBBA SHABBA!! FLIPPA DADDA BADDADOOBA. HABBA KNABBA SIPPAH SLIMMA!"

Good Talk Shannon. See you out there.

Prince does Queen? Fitting. Nothing like a blue smurf singing about purple. This just goes to show 1.) Women love midgets. 2.) Or they love to writhe around them. 3.) Or that these women are well paid. By the way, if you like Prince, you have to like Clay Aiken. Consistency demands it.

3rd Quarter

• ZZZZZZZZZ -- whu? wha? oh. nuthin' (scratches balls). ZZzzzz

4th Quarter
Simms says: "The key is not to panic and throw it every down"
Rex says: "I just hit Phi Simms wife. Now look how far I can huck this thing."

AND......
Tony Dungy gets hit with a sports beverage. Rex with multiple paternity suits.