FUFL Chatroom: Everyone's a Cheater

***You Have Entered the FUFL Chatroom***

Dynamic_POV(ia): Ok Commish, how are we going to cheat this year? Unfair Trades? Have we gotten our orders?

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: Not yet. The checks haven't cleared. I'm thinking we'll form another secret alliance, and with any luck we'll be 4th & 6th again.

Dynamic_POV(ia): I'm in. I've had a good run the past few years, but I love this cheating. It's a Jersey thing. Have I ever mentioned I'm from Jersey?

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: Really? I wouldn't have guessed. But seriously I'm thinking... Oh Shit. Here they come.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Who? The rest of them? Damn.... OK OK. Be cool. Be Cool. --- Quick Hide behind this.

***Dynamic_POV(ia) & Onwrd_XianSoldiers have hidden behind a curtain***

***/The rest of the FUFL League Has Joined the Chat***

WaiverWear_er: Alright guys, I'm thinking we gotta form some sort of alliance against the Commish and his cheating partner. We all know their trades are bullshit, so let's get proactive on this. I'm thinking we shoot one or both in the head, execution style. Thoughts?

EPAhole: Didn't you win last year?

WaiverWear_er: Well yeah... I went 11-3 and totally owned. But that's not the point.

CoolHandLucas: Something smells bad here. Like the Jersey Turnpike or something.... But mixed with a special self-loathing... it's weird. I swear I've smelled it before.

stffd_this_weaver_myslf: I smell rats. Both of you did well last year. And one of you went from shithouse to runner-up in a single season. That's not right.

EPAhole: Uhhhhhh....

TheOhGeez: Both of you are busted. And the Treasurer did well too! He benefitted from the shenanigans!

BuriedTreasurer: Fuck.

WaiverWear_er: Wait? You both paid them off too?

EPAhole: The President of the United States has requested I not answer that question.

BuriedTreasurer: I did it with collected dues. I'm running some pyramid schemes on the side that aren't working out anymore...

CoolHandLucas: Well who else did? Fess the fuck up, assbags. And what the FUCK is that smell? It's like Newark mixed with Pittsburgh!

TheOhGeez: Fine. I paid them.

AHIPsBM: Me too.

CoolHandLucas: Shit. I paid them off as well. The pressure of a bad website was getting to me.

MyShipRunszaGround: Guilty as charged. But I did it for my daughter. I got roped into a bad pyramid scheme and... things aren't going so good. We may have lost everything. I'm drinking a lot of cough syrup lately. The CVS brand, if you can believe that.

***The FUFL chatroom has gone eerliy silent***

BuriedTreasurer: Uhhhhhh.... wait a second, what's behind the curtain?!

***BuriedTreasurer has pulled back the curtain to reveal Dynamic_POV(ia) & Onwrd_XianSoldiers***

CoolHandLucas: You guys are dicks.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Hey what's up everyone! I was just talkin' to the Commish here about...uh...

EPAhole: Dude... Just don't say... Anything...

TheOhGeez: So you took us all for a ride. Well played, assclowns.

MyShipRunszaGround: My world.. it crumbles like a stale sandwich.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Don't blame me. Blame my New Jersey heritage.

CoolHandLucas: Damn. He's right.

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: And I think I've made it pretty clear over the years that I don't like any of you.

AHIPsBM: That's true. He shoves me at work. One time he broke my clavicle. No one fucks with him.

BuriedTreasurer: OK - as the financial steward of the league, I suggest we forget what happened in the past, and up the contribution to $50 with the extra $15 each going to the Commish and POV in return for either not cheating at all or cheating on behalf of everyone.

stffd_this_weaver_myslf: Sounds Good.

AHIPsBM: Works for me.

CoolHandLucas: Whatever. Sure.

MyShipRunszaGround: We've resorted to eating feral dogs I kill with my hands.

EPAhole: Sounds dodgy. I'm in. With taxpayer dollars of course.

WaiverWear_er: Fine. I'll just have to fall back on my special mix of 10 statistical analysis programs I bought for $50 each, which are then drilled down via an ouija board, and finally verified by drowning potential witches to see if they float. I'll still beat all of your asses.

BuriedTreasurer: Then it's agreed. Glad that's all fixed. Until August then gentlemen.

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: This meeting is adjourned.

BuriedTreasurer: Runza - find me offline. I may have an investment opportunity for you.

MyShipRunszaGround: I told you, I'm not selling my daughter.