FUFL Chatroom: Everyone's a Cheater

***You Have Entered the FUFL Chatroom***

Dynamic_POV(ia): Ok Commish, how are we going to cheat this year? Unfair Trades? Have we gotten our orders?

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: Not yet. The checks haven't cleared. I'm thinking we'll form another secret alliance, and with any luck we'll be 4th & 6th again.

Dynamic_POV(ia): I'm in. I've had a good run the past few years, but I love this cheating. It's a Jersey thing. Have I ever mentioned I'm from Jersey?

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: Really? I wouldn't have guessed. But seriously I'm thinking... Oh Shit. Here they come.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Who? The rest of them? Damn.... OK OK. Be cool. Be Cool. --- Quick Hide behind this.

***Dynamic_POV(ia) & Onwrd_XianSoldiers have hidden behind a curtain***

***/The rest of the FUFL League Has Joined the Chat***

WaiverWear_er: Alright guys, I'm thinking we gotta form some sort of alliance against the Commish and his cheating partner. We all know their trades are bullshit, so let's get proactive on this. I'm thinking we shoot one or both in the head, execution style. Thoughts?

EPAhole: Didn't you win last year?

WaiverWear_er: Well yeah... I went 11-3 and totally owned. But that's not the point.

CoolHandLucas: Something smells bad here. Like the Jersey Turnpike or something.... But mixed with a special self-loathing... it's weird. I swear I've smelled it before.

stffd_this_weaver_myslf: I smell rats. Both of you did well last year. And one of you went from shithouse to runner-up in a single season. That's not right.

EPAhole: Uhhhhhh....

TheOhGeez: Both of you are busted. And the Treasurer did well too! He benefitted from the shenanigans!

BuriedTreasurer: Fuck.

WaiverWear_er: Wait? You both paid them off too?

EPAhole: The President of the United States has requested I not answer that question.

BuriedTreasurer: I did it with collected dues. I'm running some pyramid schemes on the side that aren't working out anymore...

CoolHandLucas: Well who else did? Fess the fuck up, assbags. And what the FUCK is that smell? It's like Newark mixed with Pittsburgh!

TheOhGeez: Fine. I paid them.

AHIPsBM: Me too.

CoolHandLucas: Shit. I paid them off as well. The pressure of a bad website was getting to me.

MyShipRunszaGround: Guilty as charged. But I did it for my daughter. I got roped into a bad pyramid scheme and... things aren't going so good. We may have lost everything. I'm drinking a lot of cough syrup lately. The CVS brand, if you can believe that.

***The FUFL chatroom has gone eerliy silent***

BuriedTreasurer: Uhhhhhh.... wait a second, what's behind the curtain?!

***BuriedTreasurer has pulled back the curtain to reveal Dynamic_POV(ia) & Onwrd_XianSoldiers***

CoolHandLucas: You guys are dicks.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Hey what's up everyone! I was just talkin' to the Commish here about...uh...

EPAhole: Dude... Just don't say... Anything...

TheOhGeez: So you took us all for a ride. Well played, assclowns.

MyShipRunszaGround: My world.. it crumbles like a stale sandwich.

Dynamic_POV(ia): Don't blame me. Blame my New Jersey heritage.

CoolHandLucas: Damn. He's right.

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: And I think I've made it pretty clear over the years that I don't like any of you.

AHIPsBM: That's true. He shoves me at work. One time he broke my clavicle. No one fucks with him.

BuriedTreasurer: OK - as the financial steward of the league, I suggest we forget what happened in the past, and up the contribution to $50 with the extra $15 each going to the Commish and POV in return for either not cheating at all or cheating on behalf of everyone.

stffd_this_weaver_myslf: Sounds Good.

AHIPsBM: Works for me.

CoolHandLucas: Whatever. Sure.

MyShipRunszaGround: We've resorted to eating feral dogs I kill with my hands.

EPAhole: Sounds dodgy. I'm in. With taxpayer dollars of course.

WaiverWear_er: Fine. I'll just have to fall back on my special mix of 10 statistical analysis programs I bought for $50 each, which are then drilled down via an ouija board, and finally verified by drowning potential witches to see if they float. I'll still beat all of your asses.

BuriedTreasurer: Then it's agreed. Glad that's all fixed. Until August then gentlemen.

Onwrd_XianSoldiers: This meeting is adjourned.

BuriedTreasurer: Runza - find me offline. I may have an investment opportunity for you.

MyShipRunszaGround: I told you, I'm not selling my daughter.

Who Wants to go to Camp!

I love the Dugout. It's one of my all time favorites. If you do not read it, then you do a disservice to our national pastime - which means you do a disservice to our nation, and by extension, to our troops you freedom-hating terrorist, you.

Anyway, I am excited as hell for football, and in the spirit of minicamps everywhere, YFTS brings you the NFL Minicamp Chatroom:

QBQT: So Glad to be back at camp
with all u guyz. This'll be the best summer evah!

SlimVickings: Dunno dawg. I’m already
in trouble with the counselors. BTW, where the camp dogs at? I wanna fight one.

MarvelussMarvin: I love camp. Canoeing
and sailing are the bomb.


PacmanCoJones: I'm down wi' dat!
Dis one chick I know get me into watersports. Setcha back $200 bones.


Favregnugen: Woah, Adam - you're done
for the season. You need to go. You're not allowed here! Alright, it's time to get down to business. First drills, and then canoeing. Here we go, deep post routes, Randy's on my team...

QBQT: Uh... no he's not. He's on mine.


Favregnugen: What? No... but I WANT HIM.
Fuck you guys, I'm taking my ball and going somewhere else, then.

ImFeelingRandy: Give me that ball right now.

/pries ball from QBQT

QBQT: Owww you're hurrrrting me. That was so selfish.

TakeaTeeOh: Someone call me?

ImFeelingRandy: Nah, false alarm, playa.


UnprotectedRex: When do we practice INT's?
I wanna throw so fucking bad right now. I could prolly throw it through a brick wall if I wanted.

QBQT: Let's do that instead of sack races! Can we
Unkie Favre? Can we?! Huh? Can We?!

Favregnugen: Eat my cornhole.


/silence


Favregnugen: Alright. Here's how it's gonna be:
Tom throws to Randy, Rex to TO, Vick to Marvin, and I'll throw to whoever we drafted for a WR.

TakeaTeeOh: Who dat is?

DoraExplorah: Here I am Mr. Farve-y! Let's play!
I love Green things, Bays, and Packing! We'll have fun!


Favregnugen: Christ on a stick.

UnprotectedRex: Whoa... what's up 'lil hotness?

QBQT: Can she sign my baby next month?

SlimVickings: Aww snap dawg! I'd give her 9-1 against
some baby pups I got here in my jacket. She looks like a scrapper.

Favregnugen: You know what? Fuck all of you. Let's
just do this so we can at least tell ghost stories later! And what in the hell is all that creaking noise?!

MarvelussMarvin: My bones.

PacmanCoJones: Do they hurt when it rains?